Saying Goodbye-Thankful Thursday

First of all, I am so excited to go home and see my family. Please hear that. A Sadie snuggle is first on my list! I have called, FaceTimed, Marco Polo'd, you name it, but it's just not the same as being with my family. CAN'T. WAIT. 

But before that sweet reunion can happen, I have to say goodbye to my whole world the past little over two years. I have built lasting friendships that are even deeper than some people have I have known for 10 years back home. Working, hanging out on weekends, eating meals, going to church, and drinking endless cups of coffee together has made us have deep friendships incredibly fast. It's hard to describe, the closest I can think of is in university when you live in dorms and are with the same people all the time. 

All week I have been counting my "lasts"- last church service, last all hands meeting, etc. Life on ship is very rhythmic with traditions and meetings for each day of the week- Testimony Tuesday, Worship Wednesday, Thankful Thursday, etc.

 Last night lying in bed I was dreading Thankful Thursday in Rehab. On a normal Thursday we go around in a circle saying what we are thankful for (See my post "I am Thankful for the Gift of Life ) but when someone is leaving everyone in the department says why they are thankful for that person. And of course, that person was me today. They all said the most lovely things and I was teary through it all. I wrote what I wanted to say to the team last night, not wanting to forget anyone or any detail. As I got to the last few sentences "Lastly I am thankful to God that I got to be here for so long. What a gift. Please continue to love these children well and the rest will fall into place" I completely broke down in tears. Cry number 1 of the day check check. 

Next, I was off the ward to see a sweet 11-year-old girl. She has been screaming in pain and in fear the past two days when I have seen her. She took maybe 10 steps yesterday and I was preparing for about the same today. She is a big girl, and I brought my muscles thinking I would need them as she was pretty much sitting on my shoulder yesterday while I was on the ground helping move her feet!! Well, today was a new day and as she walked, she needed less and less help and went around 10 meters! Her brother started crying and I had cry number 2 of the day. She wants to walk more, this time in front of the nurses so we had her sit in the wheelchair and go back to the ward. She starts walking to everyone's amazement and the whole ward plus chaplains and nurses are all chanting her name and then break out into worship songs about what a miracle this is. She walks over 30 meters! The head ortho nurse (Pip) and I hug and cry again. Cry number 3. Done. 

Throughout the day I told all of my patients I was leaving on Saturday. Lots of hugs from patients and their caregivers. No tears but definitely sweet little hugs and snuggles I'll remember. 

Topped the workday off with a party for myself, Kate (my team lead) and Matt (our amazing admin) who are all leaving this weekend. Lots of dancing, good food, goodbye cards and even a little speech from Shannon about how each of us have changed lives. Cry number 4 complete. 

Ended the day with the annual Ortho Kid Glow Stick Party! All my patients and caregivers had glow sticks, disco balls everywhere, and every fun African dance song played! I danced with kids who were wheeled down the hall in beds, wheelchairs, holding walkers, etc. We sang "Wakka Wakka" "I Have a Very Big God" "Joy is Coming" and "Ohemma". 

I am exhausted emotionally and physically, but it was the best day I never could have imagined last night. Less than 48 hours to go in Ghana and I'm still soaking up every minute. 

Rehab and Outpatients celebrating Matt, Kate and me

What Choice Do I Have?

Today I was doing a pre-admission for an orthopedic surgery kid. Severely bowed legs on a 9-year-old girl and an exhausted looking mama. I measured her knee flexion, how bent those legs actually are, how long she could stand on one leg, and all of the other measurements. At the end of all the measurements I do the patient and caregiver information section and explained what surgery will look like, that she will wake up with 2 plaster of Paris casts on her legs, will do exercises, learn to walk again, have the casts removed after 3 months and then once again learn to walk. Total time at Mercy Ships is a 4–5-month commitment from this child and mom, which is time away from her other children. I asked mom if she was ok with this and understood the commitment. Her Answer:

"What choice do I have?"

She went on to explain that without this operation her child would continue to be in pain, not be able to go to school, not get a job someday, and be a burden to her family. Mercy Ships being in Ghana is her miracle. Being selected amongst the 250 kids who wanted this operation is the miracle. She asked where I was from and was amazed that I came all the way from the USA, for no money, left my husband and children so I could help her child. I tried to convey (through a translator) that it was the joy of my life to be here.  What a gift. 

This all reminded me of a song I heard recently called "Days God Gave". Here are the lyrics from the chorus:

Hold on to these moments
They're flying by so fast
Take the time with the ones you love
Like a chance you can't get back
Make a million memories
So when you're old and gray
All the faces in those photographs
Smile back at you and say
You didn't let the days God gave you get away

I will continue to look at pictures from my little over 2 years on this ship and know I didn't let a single day God gave me here slip away. I used the time I was given well and had the most amazing interactions and conversations. 

1.5 weeks to go until I return to California. I plan on using every hour I can to God's Glory. 

What is your "Why"?

 It has become an icebreaker question in many conference rooms... what is your "why"? Why do you do what you do? What drives you to do your job? Obviously here it isn't money, but still, I get the "Why?" questions. Why leave your family for 9 weeks? Why travel for over 20 hours to Africa? Why physical therapy? 

Like so many things in life, a picture is better than words. 

Before... She struggled to go to school because she couldn't walk that far

After: Now walking to school and dreaming of careers

Before: Miss F was laughed at.

After: Going to school. Check out that SMILE compared to before. 

I can't even handle how proud she looks. 

Before: Mr. U had not put his foot on the ground in years due to a contracture of his knee and was unable to work. 

After: Walking down the street and no one can tell. Employable and his future ahead of him. He dreams of being a surgeon. I made copies of science textbooks so he could start studying!

Before: Mr J struggled to walk long distances.

J worked very hard in rehab to complete his exercises

After: He has straight legs and can walk wherever he wants!

Before: My little dude! Mr. S had knock knees and would need to be carried if he went out with him family. 

After: Proud of all he has accomplished and ready to walk everywhere himself!

Before: Miss H was laughed at if she left her house. 

After: Straight legs. New Beginnings. 

Before: Miss M. She has these piercing eyes. Her legs were "windswept" and her sweet mom carried her everywhere. 

Taking off Miss M's casts. Ready to see those straight legs!

After: Here she is... all sassy and ready to take on the world. No need to be carried now!

So, what is my "why"? Why am I away from my husband and kids? These kids. The ability to change the course of lives. We have 59 kids signed up for orthopedic surgery here in Ghana and each one will be able to live their life in a new way post-surgery and rehab. I can be a part of their story. Sure, doing physical therapy in California helps people, but this lifelong change is filling my heart in huge new ways. I really didn't feel like I had much to give when I first arrived on this ship, and now I see all the skills I have to give, and it feels selfish not to. 

These weeks will fly by (They already are! I'm already 2 weeks in Ghana!) and I plan to use every day to the best of my ability. 

Questions? Comments? I love getting texts from home. 

Ghana Arrival!

 After around 20 hours of travel, I'm in Ghana!

I'm on the same ship with many familiar faces, but a lot has also changed in the almost 2 months since I have been here. I'm in Ghana, not Sierra Leone. Many friends left the same time as our family, so it's strange to see new names on cabin doors and in departments. I'm now living on deck 5 instead of deck 8, with a lovely roommate from Scotland. My afternoons are spent at work in Rehab instead of doing math homework with my kids. I'm having video chats with the kids instead of snuggles on the couch. 

A few photos of the past few days:

Coffee in the Sacramento Airport. Here I go!

1.5-hour layover in Washington D.C.

After a 10.5-hour flight from DC to Accra Ghana, I was happy to see this sign!

My door when I arrived! So good to feel so welcomed!

Facetime with my Sadie girl as she got ready for school. 

Things to pray for:

1. More crew are still coming from around the world. Pray for flights to arrive on time, visas to be approved, etc. 

2. Surgeries start soon! Pray for capable surgeons hands and patients to feel safe and loved.

3. Jeff and the kids are finding a good routine but pray that continues. 

Thank you for all of the love and support as we continue to serve with the gifts we are given!

T minus....

 The countdown to Ghana is on! I leave August 22 which now that it is August feels even faster approaching.

The pile of "I want to take this with me" continues to grow. Not just things for myself, but special items for friends on ship. The kids want to send me with some American candy and notes to their friends on ship, with hopes of getting a note back. I'm happy to be their mail carrier. 

But more than the 23 kg of luggage I'm thinking about what else I'm taking. Not to get to emotional/romantic/spiritual, but preparations go far beyond the packing of stuff. What mindset am I bringing? How is this departure different than the one 2 years ago? How can I bring my best self to really serve the people of Ghana and the cultures of the ship to the best of my abilities? I know more of what I am getting into, but also have to be prepared for the unknown of a new team, new country, new daycrew, etc so am I really that knowledgable?

Speaking of- Prayer requests!

1. The ship is on its way from Las Palmas Gran Canaria (Canary Islands) to Ghana. Pray for a safe voyage. For a celebration from the country of Ghana as they arrive. All passport/visas to go through. We are a ship of approximately 60 countries with so many different immigration requirements. Pray it all goes smooth.

2. Many volunteers (like myself!) will be flying in not long after the ship arrives. Pray for connections to be made, bags to arrive, and more visas to be approved. 

3. Pray for Jeff and the kids. They will be about 2 weeks into school when I leave. Pray for good routines to happen quickly and everyone feeling "settled". Pray for a job for Jeff that is flexible while I am gone. 

4. Pray for surgeries. Guided surgeon hands. Brave kids and caregivers to trust us.

A few essentials I had to complete before leaving...

Good pizza. Anyone from the ship knows, this is luxury. 

Blackberry picking. Fresh fruit continues to delight us, even a month later.

Went to see an A's game! 

Haircut! Over a year without one, so this was NEEDED.

Home!

We have been home for a few weeks now and are finding a new rhythm to life. When we think about what we were doing, where we were, who we were with even a month ago it all feels overwhelming and different. 

Bit of a life update:

We are back in our house with all of our things gathered from storage (thank you friends!). Kids are getting excited/nervous about school starting in only a few weeks. Jeff is interviewing for jobs. I’m already setting some things aside for my return to Ghana. We have had more “welcome home dinners” than I can count. We have bought $1,000+ in groceries restocking everything from salt and pepper, ketchup and flour. It’s finally feeling real and like home again. 

The culture shock is real, that’s for sure. Standing in a grocery store and seeing 50 different kids of cereal after only having access to 3 is a bit wild. Kids will say things like “what would ______ say if they could see this?” talking about our Sierra Leone friends. We say other crazy things like “the sky is so blue!” (Pollution is terrible there). 

Both kids and us have been staying in contact with friends from around the world. Lots of texts received at 3am saying hi to kids and showing pictures of people settling back into their lives. It’s always good to see but also hard to be reminded of our old life we loved so much. 

In only 3.5 weeks I return to Ghana. I’m excited to see friends again and use my skills to help new people and a new country. 

Prayer requests: 

1. My flights/visa/bags as I go to Ghana. Lots of logistics involved! But also pray I am useful, helpful in physical therapy but also pointing hearts to Jesus. 
2. Kids transition back to American school. They were at Mercy Ships Academy with 4-12 kids in a class from around the world. Public school in California will be a big adjustment. 
3. Jeff’s job interviews. Pray he finds the best job for his skills and has the hours/flexibility need while I’m in Ghana. 
4. All of our hearts as we stay in contact with friends from around the world, but need to make roots here as well. It’s a lot. 

The big things (moving our things to our house), small things (encouraging hugs and texts) to the unexpected (checks in the mail!) have all been such a blessing. Thank you doesn’t see like enough. We are only able to do what we do because of you. Really. We are being the hands and feet but you are the powerhouse behind it. Thanks for letting us serve the least of these. 

Please continue to reach out with questions, encouragement and hugs. Love you! 

J2, L, S2

This is not even all of the bags we had!

We were all jealous of Sadie's ability to fit under the arm rests in the Madrid airport!

People ask "How does Jeff fit in Economy seats?" He doesn't. 

First trip to the library in 2 years! JOY!

First ice cream cones at "Burger & Cream" on a Tuesday night. 

Restoried

There's a word that keeps coming to my mind: restoried. 

Not restored but restoried. I think I was introduced to it by the Lectio 365 Bible app a while back. It's not that God gives you back what you lost. He rewrites the story.

We mess up. We call ourselves failures, write ourselves off as irredeemable. But that's not how he sees us. As we've been packing up, moving home, and trying to settle in, I've been sitting with the difference between being restored and being restoried. Restored just gives you back what was. Restoried hands you something new.

We've moved home but it's not the same. It's the same house. Same city. Probably the same friends, the same church. But, in a very real way, we are starting over.

I hope I've shared this with the family more than once, because my initial instinct was to think we're just going back. But Pocahontas had it right (yes, the Disney version): "you can't step in the same river twice." We've been gone two years. People moved away. People moved in. Nothing slots back into place like we never left. It won't be normal. It won't be the same.

So as we've prepared to return home, I've found a new word: we're starting afresh. That's helped, because I am walking on the same sidewalk. Sleeping in the same house, and even on the same mattress tonight as two years ago (so very comfortable. I've missed it). But if my focus was to return — to get back to our old way of life, our old community — I'm chasing something that's already gone. I'm chasing nostalgia, or a memory. If I choose to start afresh instead, I get options. I can pick back up the things that were good, healing, worth keeping. And I can also let some things go, just because I did them before doesn't mean I have to again. I can stay open to God saying, "I have something different." He can re-story my life.

I found this line from the app as they quote John Koessler: "Sabbath forms rest, by which we are not so much restored as restoried." One of the prayers that came with it:

Father, restory us today. We stand at the crossroads and ask for the ancient paths (Jeremiah 6:16). Root us in the faith of our fathers and mothers, as we engage your word today. Jesus, maker of tables and teller of stories, create in us a new imagination, we pray. Invoke in us greater celebration, and grant to us new language with which to sow your eternal word into a tired world.

When I sit with that, I can let go of the old story — the old home, the old community, the old way I looked at life — and reach for something healthier. Something new. I'm open, not closed off.

A new story frees you from all the old entanglements. You stop feeling like you have to do it the way you did it before, just because that's how it's always been done. You get to imagine instead. Explore. Restorying changes us. Not just what happens next, but who we are and how we see ourselves.