Part 4 – Learning to Leave Space in Conversation

One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn on the Global Mercy is the value of leaving space in conversations. I come from California. I talk fast. I move fast. And in many settings that works. But on a ship with more than 40 cultures represented, moving fast in conversation can be…unhelpful.

Wednesday Morning Meetings

Every Wednesday morning, the Finance team meets. We check in. We go around the table. We ask, “What’s on your plate this week? What do you need help with? What’s coming up we should all know about?” Sometimes the room goes quiet. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Fifteen. Long enough for me — the fast‑talking Californian — to start squirming in my chair.

But when I hold back and let the silence sit there, something happens. Someone speaks. Sometimes it’s a small thing, sometimes it’s big — but it’s something we would have missed if I had rushed to fill the space. I can’t tell you how many times I thought task, issue, or accounting entry was resolved, only to hear in that pause that there was something left to do.

Silence Is an Open Door

Those awkward pauses aren’t empty. They’re an invitation. Space for someone to gather their thoughts, build courage, or decide, “this is worth bringing up.” In American culture, silence can feel inefficient, wasted time that could have been spent being “effective.” In many other cultures, it’s normal; it shows respect and careful thought.

Direct and Indirect

I’ve also had to learn the difference between direct and indirect communication. Some people (often from the Global North) will tell you plainly: “Here’s the problem. This isn’t good enough. Here’s what needs to change.” Others will hint or wrap feedback in a story to avoid embarrassment and keep harmony.

On this ship, you get both every day. If you only listen for one style, you miss half the conversation. I’ve missed indirect feedback because I was tuned to “direct,” and I’ve been perceived as harsh when I thought I was just being clear.

Learning to Toggle

So I’m learning to toggle: direct when clarity is crucial and the relationship allows; indirect when it is more well-received by the recipient. And to receive both with humility. Leaving space still feels awkward, but it works. A nine‑second pause can surface an issue that would derail us later. Giving time lets people process and speak in their own way.

Silence isn’t failure. It’s an invitation. And on a ship with 40+ cultures, it might be the most important leadership tool that I can still learn.